My three favorite Marvel characters on a New England road trip
by CaptainJayfeather29
Summary: Neither Thor or Stephen could drive. So they invited Tony. [A two(?)-shot]
1. (s) They didn't know

**This is my first fanfic where I'm writing about humans, so forgive me if it's horrible. Please note that the POV changes from chapter to chapter, so don't get confused. Rated T for swearing.**

 **# # #**

 **Chapter 1**

I haven't been in a car in five years.

This perfect piece of technology, this thing humanity could not live without. When the car was first invented in the 1800s, they didn't know these things.

They didn't know how much it would improve the Earth. We can now travel farther and look cool while doing it; but this machine also destroys the planet. We're letting gases into the air that will destroy the ozone layer and strip the air of oxygen. They didn't know how much people it would hurt.

They didn't know that on May 6th, 2016 (yes, I did look this up) a bitch would climb into the front seat and take off down the streets of New York. They didn't know that he would flip over five times, and if the fence wasn't there he probably would've drowned.

If I could've chosen whether I drowned or suffered the things I did, I would've just drowned right there, right then; because I wouldn't be in the backseat of Tony's car right now, with the engine roaring and the music even louder.

Thor is wearing a pair of jeans and a hoodie, reaching forward to let the window down. A blast of cold air hits me in the face, and for a horrible second I can't breathe. "Relax." His yellow hair is whipping around so much I can barely see his face. "We'll only be in here for a week longer."

I think I'm going to start digging my own grave.

Tony laughs. "Stop scaring him. We've all gone through these things."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ninety percent of the time, someone becomes a superhero from an accident." The driver protests.

"You consider _me_ a superhero-" I chime in.

"You saved us all during the Infinity War."

"I only saved your life." I cross my arms. "Two times. It's not like I did it every day for years." At this, Tony gives me an excellent view of his middle finger.

"You son of a gun, Strange."

I smile somehow.

"Stop." Thor puts his arms behind his head. "This is going to be a _long_ ride."

 _This was your idea,_ I want to say. _You wanted to help me get over my "fear"._ The cracks of lightning and pounding rain sound in my head, and I try to push the memories away. I fail.

"Stephen, you're squeezing my arm."

A small "sorry" escapes my mouth as my hand retreats back into its crossed position. In the next instant, I'm breaking my own arm.

A silence falls over us. It's the kind of silence that makes you want to grab an oxygen mask, because you've been inhaling sound, you've been living off of its noise but when the silence comes you have no more air left to breathe.

Tony breaks the silence. "I know a good campground down in Connecticut, and a nice ski resort in Vermont. Where should we go first?"

"Which way are we headed?" Thor wants to know.

"I've been driving in circles for the past hour."

 _Shit._

"Let's head south." I decide. "I've never been to Connecticut."

Tony nods. He pulls over into the exit lane and soon enough we're going down a ramp.

"Why would we go to a ski resort in October?" Thor asks.

"It snows up there in September sometimes." Tony answers.

"Oh."

"Wait, I have to put in the address." We pull over into the breakdown lane. Tony punches in numbers on a screen that is blocked by the seat in front of me.

"Isn't all your stuff, like, voice controlled?" I mention.

"But this is your car." He retorts. "Man, I don't know why you even _have_ a car anymore, and I thought you were poor."

"It's called after the war when nobody had any shit to take care of." I roll my eyes. "The world was actually perfect or a month or two."

"In New York, it was." Thor leans on the back of the driver's seat. "In Norway, there was _plenty_ of shit."

"You're welcome." I spit.

"Can we just get back on the road?" Tony grumbles. "Don't moan like we aren't having fun."

"But we _aren't._ " I object. Thor nods agreement.

Soon we're waiting at a red light. Tony suggests we stop at Burger King; but he is quickly silenced.

"We should just grab some sushi from Whole Foods." Thor's voice is thick with sarcasm.

"Nobody eats sushi at _ten_."

"I packed pancakes."

"I hate you."

"There's also some goldfish…"

"Just. Stop."


	2. (Th) Pigeons

**Sorry this chappie is a bit short. I need ideas.**

 **And I have questions. Please answer in the reviews!**

 **1) If you're like me and you wake up at 5am to download the new Imagine Dragons album(Origins), you'll have an answer to this question. What is the best song? Personally I'm stuck between** ** _Bullet In A Gun_** **and** ** _Machine._**

 **2) Do you like this fanfic... it was kinda a stupid idea but all my ideas are stupid...**

 **3) Who eats sushi whole? ...I do...**

 **# # #**

 **Chapter 2**

After a quick round of rock-paper-scissors, we pull into the parking lot of Whole Foods. They have a wide selection of sushi.

Tony grabs a shrimp tempura roll as soon as we reach the counter. It takes me awhile to decide, but I grab the salmon roll because it says 'raw fish' on the container, which reminds me of Loki. Stephen grabs a simple california roll.

We check out and are back in the car in a matter of minutes. I watch as Stephen eats the rolls whole. I attempt to do the same. Now we're cleaning rice off the seat.

"Thank you all for choosing Stark Tour Lines. If you look to your left, you get an amazing view of pigeons eating a salmon roll in the parking lot! What a rare sight!" Tony puts his hand over his mouth.

"I swear to god."

"I told you you wouldn't like it." Stephen is finished already, letting out a loud burp. "Where to next?"

"Our next stop is the Massachusetts border. Please remember to keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times." Tony isn't finished. "And, no flash photography."

I'm going to lose my mind.

"So, a few hours, then?" Stephen asks.

"We will reach Massachusetts in two hours and thirty-two minutes. Make yourselves comfortable." The driver presses a button shaped like on the screen.

" _Ready aim fire, ready aim fire, an empire is falling in just one day, you close your eyes and the glory fades, ready aim fire, ready aim fire away…"_

Soon I'm the only one in the car who isn't screaming the lyrics. Trying not to appear awkward, I shove another sushi roll in my mouth. When the song is over, I sigh relief.

But then it starts again. This time a different one, however.

" _Cause I've been... wondering, when you're gonna see I'm not for sale…"_

Why did I pack my pillow in my suitcase.

Why.

# # #

"Thor!" Someone whispers. I jerk awake, Tony is staring at me. "Can you… um - shoot a lightning bolt at the car or something?"

"Why?"

"I'm kinda sorta maybe out of gas."

I'm up. My brain works to register the surroundings. We are in the breakdown lane of another highway. Stephen is outside. Tony is inside. I've only seen two cars. "That won't work." I reason.

"It worked with Vision!" He complains.

"That was different." I shrug. "We need to push it to the nearest rest stop." We both climb out of the car, moving around to the back, where Stephen is. Tony explains the situation, and the sorcerer immediately starts pushing. His grunts of effort and pain make me cringe.

"Come on!" He complains.

 _This is the worst experience of my life._ We all push the car along the breakdown lane, envying the cars speeding past us.

"Shit." Tony stops, clutching his hand. I look to see blood dripping from the spot.

"Thor, grab the band-aids." Stephen demands. I run back to grab them, and by the time I reach my companions again, the red liquid is being wiped on Tony's black shirtsleeve.

I pass the band-aids to the expert, who applies it with shaking fingers. In seconds the car is moving again.

We only make it a few feet. By now the rain is pounding on our heads and Stephen has pulled his black leather jacket over his head, revealing his green undershirt. I flinch as thunder cracks the sky in half.

"I'm never doing this again." I laugh/yell over the rain. Grunts meet my words.

"Let's never speak of this again." Tony says.

"Agreed." Stephen and I say in unison.


End file.
